Hernia

I must have overextended myself during the renovations of my house in Poland in May/June. Shortly after returning to Canada I discovered unpleasantly looking formation in my lower belly. This was associated with a moment of instant fear, and a somewhat shameful feeling, that I am losing control over my own body. Doctor confirmed my suspicions ... hernia!

I believe there at least a few theories about how hernia is formed and no one knows it for sure. Back in Poland, in the days of my youth, a popular opinion was that hernia happens when people "carry too much." This could mean things both physical and emotional.

Do I carry too much? For start, over the last 12 years, while working for AHS, I was carrying a caseload of per average 80-100 clients at any given time, some of them quite disturbed. This in fact felt heavy at times. I have been carrying my family for almost forty years - houses, cars, student loans, marital and parenting challenges, etc. I also tried to contribute to my community, profession, and humankind in general. In overall, this is quite a bit. It is naturally possible that my body cannot do it all anymore, and rebels on me.

What is the significance of the body? Nisargadatta is adamant that we "are not our bodies." We are much more than this. On the other hand, Leonard Orr, from whom I had learned the American form of breathwork, known as Rebirthing, maintains that without a body no learning is possible. He values his body as the most precious possession and intends to keep it indefinitely. Body is also called "the temple of the spirit" in the Bible.

I have always liked my body and, I believe, I have made reasonable efforts to keep it clean and healthy. I liked sports as a young person. I still hike in the mountains, happy that my body takes me to all these beautiful places and lets me enjoy breathing with mountain air. I never abused my body with drugs. I stopped smoking relatively early, when 24. A glass of wine and, periodically, a cold beer or a shot of well chilled Polish vodka, are still things that I enjoy. I consume these in moderation. Although eating quite liberally, which includes meat, I don't think I was ever overweight. In other words, my body should serve me well for the many years to come.

Body of the guru can also be a subject of interesting meditation, Orr says. It is always interesting to see how a guru takes care of his/her body. Body is the source of information. Some research suggests that we often form opinions about other people within the first few seconds of meeting them, just by looking at their bodies. Alexander Lowen is credited with establishing Bioenergetic Analysis - a way of understanding people's functioning from their bodies operate. I always liked his theories (of muscular blocks, etc.) and I saw how the exercises he designed were making people feel more alive and better about themselves.

What does hernia tells me about myself? One imposing conclusion is that I need to be careful. My body ages and cannot carry the same loads as in the past. For start, I now ask my sons to carry heavier stuff for me. It could also mean that my lower belly is my soft spot. (My wife maintains that, Ged, our dog, uses this "soft spot" in me to get more food than he needs 😉.) Since the discovery of hernia I resumed exercises meant to strengthen the muscles around and below my stomach. My hernia almost immediately subsided. I barely feel it in the morning. Then, through the day, as gravity works on my body, hernia tends to resurface, though not to the extent that got me so scared when I saw it for the first time.

Reportedly, hernia never goes away by itself. That is why most of people decide for some sort of surgical intervention. As it doesn't bother me that much yet, I think I will wait and observe, which, research suggests, is also a viable strategy. I am afraid of invasive procedures that often cause more problems than they solve. After my accident in 2002, which I should write about in a separate post, I witnessed first-hand the amazing healing capacity of my body. Let's see how it will deal with this problem. Let's see if I can learn anything from my hernia.

(PR)

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